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By Emmanuel Williams

I think it’s time to have a toast.

Let’s have a toast for disrespect. Let’s have a toast for laziness.

For the douchebags, the assholes, scumbags, and jerk offs.

Because all these qualities and quirks are what make it difficult for the actually hard working, honorable, and respectable person to be trusted.

People break rules. So now it’s expected.

In fact there isn’t a single rule in place that wasn’t broken first. And after, it doesn’t matter that your intention came from honor or respect. There are wounds that don’t heal just because someone new walked in the room, or nods at you in public.

I guess you don’t have to nod back if it’s too painful for you.

Or maybe you’re just another asshole.

You know, enough disrespect and you may as well just nod until… nodded to?

Today I did surveys for cash. I’ve been doing it to pay for my evening liquor these days. It was the first Saturday I had done it and I didn’t think spending the morning trying to put an epic dent in Stephen King’s “Carrie” (fun story why I’m reading that) would end in having the lowest amount of available surveys fucking, like, ever.

Have got to keep it a morning thing. 

But I was nervous I wouldn’t make 500 points so I could cash out with $5. You can’t cash out until you make $5, or you can keep going and cash out later. But I can get a pint of McCormick’s whiskey or vodka for that. A hundred more points and I’ve got a can of soda as chaser.

I’m talking about surveyjunkie.com and all you need is an email address to sign up, and patience to stick out all those surveys. Oh, and develop that thick skin because you may be disqualified before you can even get the points. That’s my least favorite part. But I do like the gamble of it.

It beats hitting up friends and family for dough and I get shit else to do before Fall semester.

Finally I made my daily quota at 9fuckingPM, but my neighbors usually let me over for a sip and a board game. I rang tonight and they pretended they weren’t there. All those cars out front, and they are the usual suspects, and you won’t even answer the door for me.

That’s the second time in a week.

I think I got the hint.

I won’t be nodding in that direction again until I’m… nodded to first.

I can make my own money from a headache and I don’t like their disregard. 

I would tell you to your face if you weren’t invited, I wouldn’t hang you out to dry like a woman who can’t find the words to reject an unworthy suitor so tries to ignore him until he leaves.

Dear God, why have I been that guy?

Maybe, it’s because I hate getting a hint when a simple statement would suffice. It drives me nuts. Like, when people win championships, no one delivers the decision silently. You steal a candy bar, the place goes nuts. Especially if it’s a Starbuck’s tip jar. 

Not a good idea, the police get involved, it’s not pretty.

The truth is, you have to have the strength to make a statement that decides someone’s fate, for better or for worse.

What my neighbor should have said, was “Hey we’re a little disappointed in the way you ____, so tonight’s not a good night.”

If they feel any stronger they can include that in their statement.

What does a chick say to a guy who’s got no shot? 

“I don’t think I’m interested.” 

She can say it repeatedly until the guy gets the message. Now the statement’s in the air, I suppose she wouldn’t want to upset certain men because she’s afraid of physical retribution over her decision or for a guy to force his position upon her.

I agree, it’s complicated. That’s why I always recommend pepper spray in my posts. Because blind men won’t be able to find you. They can’t find you, they can’t harm you. Just don’t wait around for him to recover.

The point is, I’ve never lacked the strength to make the correct statement at the right time. But everyone isn’t me. I’m a great leader.

You gotta cut your losses.

Take the shot you got.

Let’s have another toast. 

To meeting the occasion. To readiness. To having the strength to be respectful. To having the pepper spray in the purse as soon as possible, but then at all times.

To knowing your talents, and recognizing the days they tower over everyone else’s.

CHEERS.