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By Emmanuel Williams

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What is an Angel?

Is it simply any messenger of God?

What if you asked Hollywood? Then they’d be stunning babes descending on a cloud to steer you in the right direction.

If you asked me, I would invite you to accept a broader term for Angel than these alone.

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Not to be confused with a Victoria’s Secret Angel, which is what they call all of their models, I think. What I have in mind depends on what the messenger gives you in your time of need.

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It may be useful to include that for over a decade I have placed a poster or photograph of Marilyn Monroe on my bedroom or living room wall. And when I have forsaken, forgotten, lost, or simply forgone my antipsychotic medication, I will hear auditory hallucinations while being plagued by delusional thinking and, for the most part, highly convincing assumptions with little true proof of them.

It is times like these that I speak to the poster of Marilyn and if she talks back, then I am for sure hallucinating.

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“You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic.” – Gregory House, MD

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But at least I speak to Marilyn instead of responding to the voices in my head, which only encourages them. And I dare not trust them. This is the kiss of death. For none can betray you like a malignant vision.

… Or the voice of your mental distress bouncing off the walls around you.

Having a point of order in that chaos, has granted Ms. Monroe the title of Angel.

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The message was sent by my former self through the conduit vessel of the poster, which then acts as a totem, very much like the spinning top in the film “Inception”.

Only I within the room knoweth that whence Marilyn is addressed that none shall speaketh…

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Then I got married!

And a new angel had now arrived.

In real time I am watching my number of angels grow from one to two.

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No woman has ever given me so much. Ever. Especially in times of my most dire need.

As my girlfriend, she saw me through my latest lockup. It was the first and only time I had a lower hold me down and accept my every call and help with commissary… and I’ve been to jail a holy fuck ton before this so it was noting short of a grand gesture in my eyes.

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And when my sister kicked me out shortly after learning I had married the woman, who is still by my side in the transition period between apartments? My wife.

Or: Angel number 2.

But, of course, Queen number 1 and only. 

For she keeps giving me her time, care, and resources to get me through it.

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An angel comes bearing, not news, but gifts.

Gifts for the needy.

The desperate.

The aching.

The cold…

Angels bring light into the darkness.

Peace among chaos.

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I wonder, that must mean that the gift of a guardian angel is protection.

It isn’t a message. It’s active rescue.

In your time of danger, should a guardian angel arrive. To protect you, shield you from harm. 

So that danger passes over you, or only touches you lightly if at all…

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Perhaps that will be the next angel I will find!

But for now, is Batman available???

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