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By Emmanuel Williams

August 19, 2026

Dear Mr. British,

Now that I bear an entire nationality in ink upon my skin, I confess there were times I wanted to hide it. All it says is “BRITISH” down my arm. Which to anyone without the whole story means that I am some British Nationalist.

This is untrue.

I am an American. And politically independent, though that is not to say I cannot decide between Democrat or Republican, but that I would vote for either if they were what was best for the country.

My skin color comes from, upon latest information, Cameroon, Africa. I was born in Oakland, California, and grew up speaking American English with a few Spanish classes in both high school and college. How I learned a British accent must be a combination of Austin Powers, Coldplay (my second favorite artist after Linkin Park), and various television and films over the years.

I’m simply a sponge at mimicry.

And so I’ve become proficient in a general accent from the UK region and have employed it in places and situations in which I have been either uncomfortable with rampant ebonics in my proximity or in order to impress women for whom I harbor romantic feelings.

Yes, it has gotten me laid on many occasions.

But it was because of the former necessity that I earned the nickname: British.

Sad that they all spoke the very ebonics I was sick of, but in that way, I wouldn’t have this brave tattoo without them.

You must understand that I never insulted their language. I simply refused to use it to speak to them 24/7. I simply had heard enough. Without something approaching proper English, the intelligence in the studio apartment in which I lived, and attempted to entertain from far too often, would surely have descended into such chaos that I would have been walked all over simply because the level of conversation had dropped into an ocean of stupidity.

It’s not like they were college educated crackheads. But crackheads they, quite literally, were.

Without regaling the truly horrid and bloody tale of most of those gatherings, may it suffice that I did make a few friends, and gained exquisite experiences in quite majestic and unexpected ways.

Now that the ink is settling in, I must remind you and myself that this branding began as an embrace of the nickname, and it should stay that way.

I am Emmanuel Edward Duwann Williams.

But my favorite nickname is “British”.

You may also call me Manny, it’s my typically preferred name.

Exeunt.