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By Emmanuel Williams

(Content Warning: Adult Themes)

Letter to Dr. Bill Klein from Dr. Van Stidham 

September 19, 2025

Dr. Klein,

I have been treating a patient presenting with Substance Abuse symptoms. Andrew began treatment with overwhelming anxiety complaints with persistent triggers in conversation. Every time he hears of musicians in the rock genre, Andrew will want to use drugs by the setting of the sun. 

The peculiarity of this case arose when Andrew told me what he would do while under the influence of his drug of choice, methamphetamines with crack cocaine. Both ingested orally and in the same night. Causing the first symptoms the patient presented with.

Low mood, drowsiness, periods of euphoria, constant chills all over his skin, yet so much energy that he could not go to sleep. Andrew had a propensity for purchasing sex workers which he would sleep with in alleys and other public places like city parks, urinals, and Starbuck’s public restrooms.

I can’t make heads or tails of the latest tale of Andrew’s adventures. 

The sex worker he hired was a beautiful woman when he solicited her services, but he said that he brought her to the nearest alley, and began to fondle her at the waistline. He brought his own hips close to hers and began to hump her at the leg. 

He undid her belt and she turned around for penetration. She said she wanted “butt sex” so he obliged. When he knelt to perform rear cunnilingus he discovered a set of testicles.

I’ve come across this before, but this patient went further in their description, and said that he took a razor from his pocket that belonged to a construction tool, and placed it in his mouth.

He proceeded then to lick his sex partner’s scrotum with the razor in his mouth. Soon the partner could not tell what was tongue and what was razor until a final moment when they noticed blood running down their own legs.

Curiously, the retribution wasn’t responded to with aggression, but with appreciation. The sex partner enjoyed Andrew’s revenge.

My first question is how is this possible?

The drawing of blood does not signify a positive exchange of pleasure, as Andrew’s stories usually contain. Is it possible that the deception of the sex worker has gone on so long that they now feel like a blood debt is owed to the men they lead into their…

Then there is the overwhelming need to discuss how a gay man would deceive straight men into anal sex… for PAY. Not only does the gay man receive anal pleasure, but the risk increases should the heterosexual male discover the truth, and instead of getting seriously injured, the ‘bottom’ receives pay for his… I’m sorry, but for his asshole. Not the vaginal sex the heterosexual originally expected to receive from the male dressed as a female prostitute.

What do I tell Andrew?

Is he right to go down on a fake female prostitute with a razor in his mouth!

Clearly he should drop his addictions to drugs cold turkey straight away. But we are here to discuss underlying conditions.

The only underlying condition I can fathom that would make a man do this, would be vengeance. But then why lick the man’s scrotum to introduce the razor?

Why not slit his throat while penetrating his asshole?

Why not leave the alley after discovering the betrayal without paying the worker for the sex he obviously did not consent to?

Is this going to happen to Andrew again?

Call me jaded, but I don’t put anything past a sex worker after this. Or Andrew… Or myself!

I told him to keep it in his pants!

What else could I say? You’re gay now? Your bisexual now? Why did you like this mans mother fucking balls when you wanted a woman to begin with and they deceived you by pretending you were ABOUT to fuck a girl only to not even have a vagina for you to kiss? You were about to kiss her vagina weren’t you? And instead you Licked. His. Balls. 

With a razor to cut his sack along your way…!

This is completely unheard of. I’m completely out of my therapeutic capacity here.

I await your rapid response before my next meeting with Andrew in three days on Thursday.

-Stid

P.S. when can I lick your balls, you stud…