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By Emmanuel Williams

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The legend that is the Depp of fortune

For fortune and the curls of Cry Baby

Hands like weapons and fingers of knives

A wonder known haunted as Edward

With bats above his head

And cocaine in his blood

Among others and yet like no other

Johnny. Fucking. Depp.

Or Willy Fucking Wonka

Jack Fucking Sparrow

Sweeney Mother Fucking Todd

John Son of a Bitch Dillinger

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Headless horsemen flee lest be vanquished

Ikabod Crane shamelessly stole that dame

And as Grindewald became bewitched

But back to the pirate, we dare speak his name

And that’s Captain Jack Sparrow

If ye savvy as all hell

Let’s bring him that horizon

And rum with a rebel yell

Because Rango ain’t D’Jango

But Sweeney is creamy

And I’d sleep with the Hatter

If Alice weren’t so dreamy

*